Builder or Fool?


Proverbs is such an amazing book! So much wisdom, so much instruction. It really should be named Quick Little Nuggets of Truth! I am consistently blessed by this book. As a wife I am constantly looking for ways to be better in my role. Proverbs has so much instruction on the subject.

I think we all struggle at times, to be the wife we know we should be. As we strive to grow and blossom in our marriage, there are some important principles laid out in Proverbs. I love that God has instruction for us, all we have to do is follow.

Proverbs 14v1 – “A wise woman builds her house, but with her own hand the foolish one tears hers down.”

As wives we can find ourselves torn in so many directions. It’s hard! To be a Godly wife in today’s society takes courage, strength, wisdom, patience, self-control, loyalty, love, a foundation in Gods word, and most importantly, prayer.

There has never been a time when marriage is more challenged, and attacked than it is today. I feel like I am constantly having to defend what I know is right. As a woman, I am constantly being told that I am not to be ‘owned’ by my man, that I have the ‘right’ to do what I want, when I want to, and that no man should control that.

On the opposite end of the scale, there is the church. The body of Christ, who when speaking on marriage, normally addresses wives submitting to their husbands, and husbands loving their wives, end of story. The loving part usually goes down ok, but the submission part…well not so much!

I don’t want my place as a wife to be viewed just as a position of service and submission. Marriage is so much more. I want to know the fullness of a Godly marriage.

So, what does it take?

Proverbs 14v1 Tells us that we to be builders in our home, not just participants, observers or helpers, but active builders. A builder is not a position of submission. It’s a position of great responsibility and trust.

The Bible does clearly state in Ephesians 5v23 that the husband is the head of the wife (or family). We know that we can’t have two heads or leaders,  so in light of this, what exactly is our role as a wife?

After much pondering asking of the Lord, He once again gently guides me to the answer. The answer that sets me straight and gives me clarity. In order to build our house, we must build up our husbands, so that they can be successful as our covering, our provider, our head.

So, now question number two! How do we build our husbands? The answer? It’s simple.

  1. Respect
  2. Love and affection

Really? You say. THAT’S IT? Seems easy. Straightforward.

If it’s so simple then, why are there so many marriages falling apart?

Why do we find it so hard to give these two very simple gifts to our husbands?

Ask yourself, would a contractor sabotage a new home project by not giving it a solid foundation, strong walls, and well functioning mechanics? Only a fool would build that way. Why then, as home builders, do we so often sabotage our own home, by not giving them the care and consideration it needs to be strong and safe for our family?

Being a courageous wife takes so much more than ‘submission’! It requires us to cherish, respect, and love that which God has blessed and entrusted us with.

Most of our conflicts will come from either a lack of respect or love. Respect shows our husbands that we recognize them as gifts given to us by God himself. Showing respect encourages us to act in a manner that recognizes such. Love is the act of laying down ones life for another. If we are dead to ourselves, it is impossible for us to be offended, have our own agenda or demand our own rights.

Even when we don’t feel like it, or our flesh gets in the way, I pray God would help  us, ME, to build in such a way that my home is able to withstand anything the world throws at it.




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