Sometimes it’s good to look back and remember lessons that God has taught us. I recently found this journal entry from 2008. We were moving from Alaska to Tennessee. Jasen stayed in Alaska for a couple of months to wrap up his business, while the kids and I went to Florida to be with my parents. The children were young. Really young!
“Today I woke up and almost immediately asked the question “who took my children?” I was convinced from very early on that Curious George and his friends from the zoo had come in sometime during the night and replaced my dear ones. It just seemed like from the moment they stepped out of bed things went downhill.
They were so loud! Jaden and Adam fought continuously. Leah was having intestinal problems, which resulted in a funny dance type move and trips to the potty every 5 to 7 minutes. There was bouncing from bed to bed, couch gymnastics, yelling, screaming, arguing, and general horrid behavior. For most of the day I felt like I was going to pull my hair out, and on more than one occasion I just had to walk away.
We are in transition. Grandpa has been gone for a few days and they are still adjusting to being away from their daddy, life is confusing right now for our little ones; I have to be understanding. So many things going on I am starting to wonder if I am going to get through it with my sanity.
Leah was tough today, whined and cried all day. Not sure if it was because of her bathroom issues or what, but you never quite know with little Leah. I love her dearly though, she is my girl.
Then dinnertime rolled around and things were looking up a little. We had made it through the majority of the day without an ER visit and without me checking myself into that ‘special place’ people go to ‘rest’ and ‘get better’. I had a healthy meal prepared, oven-fried chicken, broccoli, peas, potatoes, and some kind of fruit. They all seemed pleased when it came to the table, “good” I thought, “maybe things are turning around”. We said grace, and all seemed well. With the kids settled at the table I left for a few minutes to tend to something else and upon my return found a sight that made me laugh so hard I had to leave the room. The twins were playing baseball with their chicken legs and peas! They were so intense and so encouraging of one another “good one Leah Lou!” Evan said as Leah hit a home run across the table. It was one of those moments when as a mom you have a choice. I ‘should’ have done something, handed out some form of discipline for bad table manners but I couldn’t, I just didn’t have the words. It’s times like this that I have to relish the gift of motherhood, the bad and the good, and determine to enjoy every moment. To realize that sometimes laughter is the best medicine”
I can look back on this fondly and be thankful. My children, who had been the source of my frustration all day, were actually the ones that turned my heart toward the Lord. I find that discouragement is always around the corner waiting to pounce. He is teaching me that very often my response to things determines the behavior of the people around us; our husbands and children, the lady in the grocery store, the difficult customer service rep on the phone
My continued prayer, even years on is that when faced with a situation, no matter how frustrating, I am able to CHOOSE JOY!