Beware…This is Coming For Your Family!

be careful

3,564,591,201 Can you guess what this number might be?

This number, is the number of internet searches for pornography since the beginning of 2015. As I put the digits into this post, the numbers continued to climb on my phone beside me, I can’t keep up.

Over the years we have seen many prominent members of the Christian Community exposed for their involvement in pornography and adultery. Lives lived in darkness brought out into the light. Many of us were truly saddened, we were disappointed, disgusted. Unfortunately, many stood in pious judgment, almost enjoying being a spectator of someone else’s demise.

It has been a reminder to me, that Satan really does prowl around like a lion seeking whom he may devour.  Even so, I also know that God will not be mocked. He will not allow His people, to on one hand proclaim Him, while on the other live in sin. It’s time to face it! Pornography is no longer the dirty little secret that hangs out in the back room of a seedy store. It is no longer just subject matter for the frat house, or boys locker room. It is HERE. In OUR homes, in our PURSES, at our DESKS, in our SCHOOLS, in our BACK POCKETS. It is as easy to access as our favorite recipe blog. It’s free, available and it’s not going away. The statistics are staggering.

  • 64% of Christian men and 15% of Christian women say they watch pornography at least once a month.
  • 51% of pastors say internet pornography is a temptation
  • 1 in 5 mobile internet searches are for pornography.
  • 24% of smart phone owners admit to having pornographic material on their device
  • 9 out of 10 boys and 6 out of 10 girls are exposed to pornography before they are 18. Most are exposed by age 12. Many are exposed at church youth group.

I could go on. The statistics only get more heartbreaking. So, as Christians, what do we do?

It’s an easy thing to push aside uncomfortable subjects within the church. We hope to keep inappropriate things outside of our four walls. However, as the church becomes more compromised, and Christians become weaker in their faith, these issues have to be addressed. To be completely honest, I am tired of the devil gaining ground and God’s people not engaging in battle. I am over sin being called addiction or a sickness. It’s SIN, people!!

But there is good news! God has given us everything we need in His word,  to defeat the schemes of the enemy. There is nothing that we can be tempted by, that Jesus did not endure. “Well, He was God!” you say. Yes, He was. But He was God in the flesh, a man. He was open and vulnerable to everything that we are faced with today. He provided a way for us to flee temptation and overcome sin. It’s our CHOICE as to whether we take the way out or not.

So, you may be reading this and be thinking to yourself. “It’s easy for HER to say! She’s never dealt with this.” “People get sucked in by accident!” “It’s the devil’s fault!” “It’s an addiction!” “She doesn’t understand how hard it is!”

No, I’ve never had to deal with this issue personally. But I’ve walked with many that have. As God’s people, we need to STOP putting the blame for sin on others. We each have a CHOICE, a free will.

To the MEN:

It is a CHOICE to type those words into the Google search bar. It is a CHOICE to open that email. It is a CHOICE to click on those pictures. It is a CHOICE to look with lust at the woman walking by you on the street. It is a CHOICE to flirt with the co-worker in the office. It is a CHOICE to watch an inappropriate TV show or movie. I could go on. In all of this, there is a common thread. CHOICE.

The amazing thing is, is that God gives us the greatest CHOICE. His Word. When Jesus was confronted with temptation. He used scripture to fight. God’s promises are for us TODAY! Ephesians 6:17 gives us clear instruction to put on the helmet of salvation. Guys, a helmet is not attractive, or fashionable! We use a helmet for a practical reason. The helmet protects the mind from wicked and corrupt thoughts and schemes. Once again, it is a CHOICE to pick it up and put it on. God has provided. You have to do your part. Once your helmet is securely in place. DO WHAT SCRIPTURE TELLS YOU TO DO!!! FLEE!! We are never instructed to fight temptation. We are to RUN!

1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

2 Timothy 2:22 “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”

Men, for the sake of your wives, children or future wives and children. Do not let the devil steal your future. Put on the helmet and FLEE!

To the Ladies:

Yes, I’m addressing you too! Even though we tend to think that this is a ‘male problem’ we as women are not off the hook. I am not out to purposefully offend or ruffle feathers, but if I do that in the pursuit of truth, so be it. Before I get attacked for blaming women for men’s failings, I want to say this. We are not responsible for the sin of others. Men and women make their own individual choices. Their sin is their own. HOWEVER! We are called to be responsible to each other as believers.

Galatians 6:1-3 “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

We are to bear one another’s burdens, not just physically, but spiritually. So, while we aren’t directly responsible for the choices of others, we are responsible to help in bearing their struggles. We are to do everything in our power to not aide in the falling of our brothers and sisters.

1Corinthians 8:13 Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.”

This doesn’t only apply to food and drink. It applies to anything that may cause someone else to stumble.

So, ladies. In short, this is what I ask. Please keep your short skirts, and low hanging tops at home for your husband. The only boobs and backside my husband should be seeing are mine!

Secondly, I find it quite alarming how many women within the church, are exposing themselves to what the world sees as reality when it comes to marriage. We are bombarded by Fifty Shades of Gray style books, Bad Mom movies, and we seldom blink an eye. We enjoy the escape from our boring, humdrum lives. For a moment we are able to leave to demands of house and home and be transported into someone else’s world. We are allowed for a short time to let our hair down, and laugh at those things we’ve been feeling or wanting to say for years. The problem is, (other than the fact that they are completely wrong, distorted and against what God created marriage and motherhood to be), they are leading women into a sense of dissolution with their own families. Visions of ‘life on the edge’, cloud our minds and fills them with falsehoods. Husbands are no longer enough, we long for something daring and freeing. Eventually women find themselves in a place of detachment and discontent. Stop buying in to the fantasy.

Ladies, fix your eyes on things above! Be thankful for the call that God has placed on you as wives and mothers. Find your contentment in HIM! Ultimately, God is the only one able to squash the desires for things outside of your marriage that are not good. Once again, we have a CHOICE. A choice, that even when we don’t fell like it we LOVE our husbands anyway. Even when we don’t want to, we are patient and nurturing to our children anyway. Please ladies, fall in love with God’s plan for you. It is good and right and will result in blessing.

To the Parents:

I want to finish this post by addressing parents.

Our children are in the middle of a battle. A battle for their souls. As their parents, we are responsible for them! That’s HUGE. We can no longer stand back from our teenagers and give them their space. They need you now more than ever.

If you want children that serve God, you have to spend the time teaching them how. You can not give them a phone, laptop, tablet or any other device, and not expect them to discover pornography. Whether intentionally or by accident, it is a click away. They will find it, and it will pull them in. Please take the time to check your children’s devices. My children know not to expect any privacy when it comes to their online activity. I check their texts, their  device history, and question them often on their viewing habits. We TALK! My kids know they can trust my me and my husband as their parents. Do not let anger with behavior cloud the bigger picture. If your children think you are angry, they will hide. Hide their activities, and their hearts. Ask the Lord how you are to respond. Go to scripture with your children, show them what God says. Pray with them. Hold them accountable. Love them.

It has taken me an hour to write this post. The pornography hit counter is now at 3,565,319,907 and counting. It’s time to step up, stop making excuses for sin, cast aside those things that hinder us, and be the Christian (Christ Ones) God has called us to be.

Lord, help us to be your followers. To be blameless in Your site. Strengthen us for the fight ahead. Help us to stand on truth and not believe the lies fed to us by the enemy. We are YOURS, help us to live like we believe it! – AMEN

7 Ways to Build Up Your Husband

 

bc5a2193c84ba64d06b3467a72b53d6a

Proverbs 14v1 – “ A wise woman builds her house, but with her own hand the foolish one tears hers down.”

We know that in order to build a solid house, we need to build up the head of that house, our husbands. As I’ve put these practices into my daily life, they have transformed the way my husband and I relate to each other. I pray they would help and encourage you also.

First, let me preface by saying this. The Bible does not say “if your husband is a Godly man, build your house”. No! I believe regardless of our husband’s relationship with the Lord we are to make just as much of an effort to build him up. Trust me ladies, if we follow this one simple principle, we will not only be rewarded by God for being obedient to Him, but our marriage relationships will be completely different.

  1. PRAY FOR HIM – Every day! Throughout the day! Pray for him in from of your children. Pray for him with your children! Let him know you are lifting him up daily. I promise you this will be the most valuable thing you do. Praying for him will help you settle irritations you have over something he may have done or said. It’s hard to pray for someone when you are upset with them!
  2. Be your husband’s biggest fan – Yes, that’s right, cheer him on, and encourage him daily. Let him know you are thankful that he works to support you and your family. As moms, don’t we often complain that we don’t get enough recognition? We rightly love the pats on the back from those around us; we love the feeling that someone sees our hard work and appreciates it? Well, what makes us think that our husbands are any different? When he walks through the door at night, don’t start by whining about your day! Yes, share with him about your bad day at the right time, just don’t smack him with it as soon as you lay eyes on him. Be thankful, and tell him you’re thankful.
  3. Be willing to put yourself in second place – As mothers we have very little problem putting our children’s needs before our own. However, when it comes to our husbands needs we have a harder time. Why is that? Do we feel that after giving ourselves fully to the daily grind we deserve to be put first? That they somehow ‘owe’ us for our sacrifice? This is an important one because I have seen these feelings turn into resentment and bitterness in many women, something Satan will use to divide a marriage. Be careful where you let your mind and heart go. My testimony is this, as you put your husband’s needs first, he in turn will start to appreciate and acknowledge what you give and sacrifice on a daily basis for your family. As you honor him, he will honor you! Trust me, I’ve done it.
  4. Honor & respect him – Most importantly before your children and before others. There is nothing that destroys a man’s confidence more than when he hears the woman he loves tearing him down or disrespecting him before others. We are all guilty of talking to our friends about the quirky things in our husband’s personality, or the ‘stupid’ things he does sometimes. In our minds it is funny or cute, but in his mind it is disrespectful and hurtful. There are times when we have to vent or talk about what’s going on, we’re human, and there’s nothing better than girlfriends and coffee for that! Even so, we have to also be very careful about what comes out of our mouths, and the advice we listen to regarding our husband’s weaknesses.
  5. When he fails don’t rub salt in the wound – Never say “I told you so!” Love him and trust that God will have His way.
  6. Make time for him – How many times have we told our husbands in both word and action that we are just too tired to spend any time with him? I would guess way too many! In our busy lives we have to schedule time alone. Sounds very unromantic, right? Well it is, but better that than nothing at all! Planning to spend one on one alone time together, not only gives you BOTH something to look forward too but will allow you to build the relationship you have.
  7. Take the time to look like you DIDN’T just roll out of bed! – Lord, help me with this! My sweats are so comfortable. I’m not saying high heels and a cocktail dress (although I’m sure he would love that!) But really ladies, think of it this way. If you know someone is stopping by for a visit, you at least comb your hair, maybe put a little makeup on and pick up the house a little, right? If you do that for a friend why wouldn’t you do it for the most important person in your life? Make a little effort, YOU will feel better.

The last thing we are to do as wives is to NEVER GIVE UP! Nobody has the perfect marriage. Some have Godly husbands, some have husbands who are testing the waters of Christianity, some have husbands that are totally opposed to our faith. We all have issues that we need God to touch and change. My encouragement to you is to be courageous, keep praying, and stand for what you know is right. Your husband ultimately belongs to God; a God who hears and knows everything. Contrary to your own opinion, God does NOT need your help when it comes to working on our husbands! You do YOUR part and let HIM do His.

Builder or Fool?

il_570xN_491819455_po2a

Proverbs is such an amazing book! So much wisdom, so much instruction. It really should be named Quick Little Nuggets of Truth! I am consistently blessed by this book. As a wife I am constantly looking for ways to be better in my role. Proverbs has so much instruction on the subject.

I think we all struggle at times, to be the wife we know we should be. As we strive to grow and blossom in our marriage, there are some important principles laid out in Proverbs. I love that God has instruction for us, all we have to do is follow.

Proverbs 14v1 – “A wise woman builds her house, but with her own hand the foolish one tears hers down.”

As wives we can find ourselves torn in so many directions. It’s hard! To be a Godly wife in today’s society takes courage, strength, wisdom, patience, self-control, loyalty, love, a foundation in Gods word, and most importantly, prayer.

There has never been a time when marriage is more challenged, and attacked than it is today. I feel like I am constantly having to defend what I know is right. As a woman, I am constantly being told that I am not to be ‘owned’ by my man, that I have the ‘right’ to do what I want, when I want to, and that no man should control that.

On the opposite end of the scale, there is the church. The body of Christ, who when speaking on marriage, normally addresses wives submitting to their husbands, and husbands loving their wives, end of story. The loving part usually goes down ok, but the submission part…well not so much!

I don’t want my place as a wife to be viewed just as a position of service and submission. Marriage is so much more. I want to know the fullness of a Godly marriage.

So, what does it take?

Proverbs 14v1 Tells us that we to be builders in our home, not just participants, observers or helpers, but active builders. A builder is not a position of submission. It’s a position of great responsibility and trust.

The Bible does clearly state in Ephesians 5v23 that the husband is the head of the wife (or family). We know that we can’t have two heads or leaders,  so in light of this, what exactly is our role as a wife?

After much pondering asking of the Lord, He once again gently guides me to the answer. The answer that sets me straight and gives me clarity. In order to build our house, we must build up our husbands, so that they can be successful as our covering, our provider, our head.

So, now question number two! How do we build our husbands? The answer? It’s simple.

  1. Respect
  2. Love and affection

Really? You say. THAT’S IT? Seems easy. Straightforward.

If it’s so simple then, why are there so many marriages falling apart?

Why do we find it so hard to give these two very simple gifts to our husbands?

Ask yourself, would a contractor sabotage a new home project by not giving it a solid foundation, strong walls, and well functioning mechanics? Only a fool would build that way. Why then, as home builders, do we so often sabotage our own home, by not giving them the care and consideration it needs to be strong and safe for our family?

Being a courageous wife takes so much more than ‘submission’! It requires us to cherish, respect, and love that which God has blessed and entrusted us with.

Most of our conflicts will come from either a lack of respect or love. Respect shows our husbands that we recognize them as gifts given to us by God himself. Showing respect encourages us to act in a manner that recognizes such. Love is the act of laying down ones life for another. If we are dead to ourselves, it is impossible for us to be offended, have our own agenda or demand our own rights.

Even when we don’t feel like it, or our flesh gets in the way, I pray God would help  us, ME, to build in such a way that my home is able to withstand anything the world throws at it.

 

 

 

Love Covers a Multitude of……

………..annoyances, irritations, faults and imperfections!

Above-all-love-each-other-deeply-because-love-covers-a-mulitude-of-sins-1-Peter-4-8-640x493

Good Morning Lord,

This morning I’m thankful for the man you chose to be my husband. I’m also thinking about all of the women you have put in my path over the years. Women I have had the honor of mentoring and encouraging both in their marriages and family lives. So many of these ladies have struggled and share with me that their husbands just won’t step up to help and ‘deal with the kids’.

I think about this often as I see worn out women trying to juggle it all on their own. You have given us as women such a great gift of being able to handle so many things at once, but so often we, I fail to give these things to You. I  realize that some fathers are absent and unwilling to be involved. However, so very often we, as women we think we do a better job, so we don’t allow them in. We criticize them when they do try. My actions so often lead to frustration and disconnection. You are faithful in gently reminding me of how I sometimes need to take a step back; not be critical; encourage and support my husband as he nurtures, disciplines and teaches our children in a right and Godly way. My husband; all husbands have been given the place of protector, provider, and spiritual leader over our homes and families. I pray that I would love, encourage and build him up to be who God has called him to be.

Lord, help me to pray for my husband without ulterior motives today. Help me to remember that your love is perfect even when I’m not. Amen.