We Don’t Have a Gun Problem- We Have a Parent Problem

Once again our nation is wrestling with devastating news, this time out of Texas. Another school shooting. And once again people immediately start demanding more gun control, more legislation, more security measures, more mental-health screenings. All these knee-jerk reactions are common in the wake of a tragedy such as this. But sadly, this type of horrible event is going to happen again. Why? Because we have a generation of parents who have relinquished the responsibility of raising their children to others.

We have a generation of parents who are convinced that their children need more things rather than more of their parents’ time in order to be content—and as a result, we have children who are ungrateful and believe they are entitled to whatever they want.

We have a generation of parents who have been told by a consumer-driven culture that in order to be successful, they need a bigger house, a newer car, and the most up-to-date phones. With that comes larger debt, strained schedules, and two parents working outside the home just to make ends meet.

We have a generation of mothers who are no longer content to stay home and raise their children. They have believed the lie that being a stay-at-home mom is not a noble and fulfilling occupation. As a result, children are farmed out to daycares and public schools, raised by strangers just so parents can pursue equality and self-worth through a career or position.

We have a generation of fathers who have decided it’s ok to leave their families in order to follow their own lusts and desires; all because sometimes family life is hard and the pressure is too much.

We have a generation of parents who are so tired and stressed out that they allow devices to babysit their kids.

We have a generation of parents who insist God be taken out of their everyday lives, but then want to blame Him during times of crisis.

We have a generation of parents who believe their teenagers want nothing to do with them, when the reality is they need them more than ever.

We have a generation of parents who are ignorant of the dangers of social media and the depth of their children’s involvement in it. “All the kids do it,” they say. “It’s no big deal.” Parents fail to see that oftentimes social media becomes an outlet for their kids because it’s somewhat anonymous, a place where our kids don’t have to face reality. Children find belonging and family among strangers rather than the people in their own homes.

We have a generation of parents who are content with the average of thirty-four minutes of meaningful conversation per week they have with their children. Yes, you read that right—thirty-four minutes per week!

 We have a generation of parents who sit in churches all over America being taught that it’s ok to fit in with the culture; that biblical parenting is now old fashioned, irrelevant and offensive.

We have a generation of parents who are overweight, tired, and unhealthy,  who simply do not have the energy to get out of their chairs and engage in activities with their children. Instead, they over-schedule their kids with activities so they don’t have to deal.

We have a generation of drive-through parents who don’t have time to cook meals, sit at the table, and connect with their children.

We have a generation of parents who have bought into the lie that they should be friends with their children instead of parents. Discipline has become abuse, and punishment is seen as an infringement on children’s rights. So children are being raised with no boundaries or limits, and as such, they are unable to handle disappointment or hardship. It’s nonsense!

We have a generation of parents who are so concerned with selfies, status updates, and sports scores that they don’t take the time to look up from their phones on the odd occasion that their children do try to engage them. I’m preaching to the choir here, folks!

Parents, we have to do better. We can no longer push the blame onto guns, schools, organizations, politicians.

Newsflash: our children are our responsibility. It is our responsibility to be intimately involved in their lives. We have to do whatever it takes to connect with them.

If it means downgrading our cars and our houses to lessen our debt, so be it.

If it means saying no to our children’s wants or activities so we can spend more time engaging in conversation as a family, then we need to say no.

If it means sacrificing material desires so Mom can stay home, we have to do it.

If it means pulling our kids out of school to teach them at home, we need to get over ourselves and do it!

If it means turning off our phones and placing them in a drawer so we can’t see them, then we need to turn them off!

If it means looking at your teenagers social media, email and texts, look at it! You pay the bills, don’t you?

We are losing a generation, and it isn’t anything’s or anybody’s fault but ours. Rise up, parents! We need to stop pointing the finger and do our jobs!

Lord, we need You so desperately as we raise our children in this day and age. Help us rise up and take responsibility. Help us put aside our own needs and wants, and live sacrificially for the children You have placed in our care. Forgive us for pointing the finger of blame at others, and help us do whatever it takes to engage with our children—love them, discipline them, and nurture them so they can grow to be the people You designed them to be. Amen.

Raising Boys Amidst the War on Men

To My Sons,

As I sit here writing this to you, you are in the midst of a cultural war against manhood. The message that is being shouted into our society is not one I want you to hear or listen to. What I want you to hear is this message from me: you were created in God’s image. He has a purpose for you. You were born to lead, provide, love, and serve. That is how your dad and I have raised you. So walk forward and grow to be men, my sons, and don’t be ashamed of who God has designed you to be.

Go ahead and blaze the trail through the woods with your machete, my sons. Because one day you may lead a nation.

Go ahead and learn to responsibly and respectfully use that gun, my sons. Because one day you may need to protect your own families.

Go ahead and love your country and those who have served for your freedom, my sons. Because one day you might have to fight for them.

Go ahead and climb that tree, my sons. Because one day you may need to rescue your daughter’s kitty or save your son’s kite.

Go ahead and hunt those deer and snag those fish, my sons. Because one day you may need to provide food for your families.

Go ahead and learn how to build a fire, my sons. Because one day your own children will learn that sometimes they need to go back to basics and be content with simple entertainment.

Go ahead and knock down that bully, my sons. Because one day you may have to defend the weak and helpless.

Go ahead and dig in the dirt, my sons. Because one day you might have to toil to make ends meet.

Go ahead and lift those weights, my sons. Because one day you might carry someone to safety.

Go ahead and love others, my sons. Because one day you will have to show the world that real men can be kind and compassionate.

Go ahead and dive into God’s Word and get to know Jesus well, my sons. Because one day the world will look to you for the answer to its problems.

Go ahead, my sons. Be real men, my sons. Your world needs you.

Love,
Mom xxxxxx

Cease Striving Precious Mom

strive

Motherhood is the greatest job on the planet. It is also the hardest. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually draining. Motherhood is filled with sadness, joy, triumphs, losses, anger, frustration, laughter and wonder. But even with all of the strong emotions motherhood brings, we, as mothers still find ourselves feeling unworthy. We oftentimes find ourselves feeling like failures; without purpose.  Motherhood is the most varied, exciting job, but it can also be the most boring, depending on the day! Motherhood is full of  crazy days dealing with  tantrums, attitudes, dirty diapers, fingerprinted walls and messy floors. Much of the time we feel  frumpy and ugly. 

What I have come to realize is that motherhood is a long journey. It takes you up mountains, through valleys, down the rapids, and sometimes, very occasionally let’s you relax on life’s beach. Regardless of where it takes us, it is one of the most rewarding and gratifying journeys you will ever take.

God has given mothers a deep, protective instinct that once awakened, never goes back to sleep. We are strong and brave and will do anything to shield our babies. Even so, we sometimes still feel like we are not enough. But I have great news for you! No-one as it all together all of the time. The truth is, we will never be enough. Doesn’t that kinda take the pressure off?

Unfortunately society has placed women under so much pressure to succeed in the career of motherhood, that we often set the bar too high and then have a hard time forgiving ourselves when we fail to reach it. If we work outside of the home, we try to justify why it’s necessary. If we stay home we have to prove that we can run our home perfectly and get everything so we can justify not financially contributing to the family. Here’s the real problem; We are allowing society to decide what a good mother looks like, when really we should be looking to Jesus. His list of requirements for us is pretty short. They are:

  • To love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength. Deuteronomy 6:5
  • To teach our children His ways. Deuteronomy 6:5-11 
  • To commit our ways to Him. Proverbs 16:3

In return He promises that:

  • He will give us rest, peace and wisdom & satisfaction
  • We will succeed.

We need rest when times are crazy; we need peace when our nerves are shot; we need wisdom when our children are driving us crazy; and we need to feel satisfied that we are doing well.

I know many of you reading this may relate to the things written here. Outwardly you are successful in keeping up appearances; but inwardly you are crying out for someone to rescue you from the constant demands of your children. You fail to live up to the expectations you have set for yourself.  The Lord is saying to you precious mom, “cease striving! You are not alone.” God’s Word is full of wisdom and guidance, knowledge and instruction. If we could only learn to cling to and hold on to His promises we would see that His requirements are few, and His rewards are many.

Matthew 11:28 “Come to me all you (precious moms) who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.”

“Lord help us as mothers, to come to You daily. Help us to look upon our children not as projects or pests, but as souls given to us in order that we might raise them in the knowledge of You. Help us to rest in the promise that you are there to carry our burdens and struggles. May we look to You for our value, and not allow society to steal the joy we should have in our children” – Amen