Pornography- The Epidemic Taking Out Our Families

be careful

3,564,591,201 Can you guess what this number might be?

This number is the number of internet searches for pornography since the beginning of 2015. As I put the digits into this post, the numbers continued to climb on my phone beside me, I can’t keep up.

Over the years we have seen many prominent members of the Christian community exposed for their involvement in pornography and adultery. Lives lived in darkness brought out into the light. Many of us were truly saddened; we were disappointed, disgusted. Unfortunately, many stood in pious judgment, almost enjoying being a spectator of someone elses demise.

It has been a reminder to me, that Satan really does prowl around like a lion seeking whom he may devour. Even so, I also know that God will not be mocked. He will not allow His people, to on one hand proclaim His name, while on the other live in sin. It’s time to face it! Pornography is no longer the dirty little secret that hangs out in the back room of a seedy store. It is no longer just subject matter for the frat house, or boys locker room. It is here – in our homes, in our purses, at our desks, in our schools, in our back pockets and unfortunately it has made its way into our churches and pulpits.. It is as easy to access as our favorite recipe blog. It’s free, available and it’s not going away. The statistics are staggering.

  • Every second – $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography
  • 64% of Christian men and 15% of Christian women say they watch pornography at least once a month.
  • 51% of pastors say internet pornography is a temptation
  • 1 in 5 mobile internet searches are for pornography.
  • 24% of smart phone owners admit to having pornographic material on their device
  • 9 out of 10 boys and 6 out of 10 girls are exposed to pornography before they are 18. Most are exposed by age 12. Many are exposed at church youth group.

I could go on. The statistics only get more heartbreaking. So, as Christians what do we do?

It’s an easy thing to push aside uncomfortable subjects within the church. We hope to keep inappropriate things outside of our four walls. However, as the church becomes more compromised and Christians become weaker in their faith, these issues have to be addressed. To be completely honest, I am tired of the devil gaining ground and God’s people not engaging in battle. I am over sin being called a disease or sickness. It’s sin, plain and simple.

But there is good news! God has given us everything we need in His word and through the Holy Spirit, to defeat the schemes of the enemy. There is nothing that we can be tempted by that Jesus did not endure. “Well, He was God!” you say. Yes, He was. He was also God in the flesh, a man. He was open and vulnerable to everything that we are faced with today, and He has provided a way for us to flee temptation and overcome sin. It’s our choice as to whether or not we take the way out.

So, you may be reading this and be thinking to yourself. “It’s easy for her to say, she’s never dealt with this”; “People get sucked in by accident!”; “It’s the devil’s fault!”; “It’s an addiction!”; “She doesn’t understand how hard it is!”

No, I’ve never had to deal with this issue personally. But I’ve walked with many that have. As God’s people, we need to stop putting the blame for sin on others. We each have a choice- a free will.

Men:

It is a choice to type those words into the Google search bar. It is a choice to open that email. It is a choice to click on those pictures. It is a choice to look with lust at the woman walking by you on the street. It is a choice to flirt with the co-worker in the office. It is a choice to watch an inappropriate TV show or movie. I could go on. In all of this, there is a common thread- choice.

The comforting thing is, is that God gives us the greatest choice- His Word. When Jesus was confronted with temptation, He used scripture to fight. God’s promises are for us today! Ephesians 6:17 gives us clear instruction to put on the helmet of salvation. Guys, a helmet is not attractive, or fashionable! We use a helmet for a practical reason. The helmet protects the mind from wicked and corrupt thoughts and schemes. Once again, it is a choice to pick it up and put it on. God has provided, but you have to do your part. Once your helmet is securely in place, do what scripture tells you to do; FLEE!! We are never instructed to fight temptation. We are to RUN!

1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

2 Timothy 2:22 “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”

Men, for the sake of your wives, children or future wives and children, do not let the devil steal your future. Put on the helmet and FLEE!

Ladies:

Yes, I’m addressing you too! Even though we tend to think that this is a male problem, we are not off the hook. I am not out to purposefully offend or ruffle feathers, but if I do that in the pursuit of truth, so be it. Before I get attacked for blaming women for mens failings I want to say this; we are not responsible for the sin of others. Men and women make their own individual choices. Their sin is their own. However, we are called to be responsible to each other as believers.

Galatians 6:1-3 “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

We are to bear one another’s burdens, not just physically, but spiritually. So while we aren’t directly responsible for the choices of others, we are responsible to help in bearing their struggles. We are to do everything in our power to not aide in the falling of our brothers and sisters.

1 Corinthians 8:13 Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.”

This doesn’t only apply to just food and drink. It applies to anything that may cause someone else to stumble.

So ladies, in short, this is what I ask; please keep your short skirts, and low hanging tops at home for your husband. The only breasts and backside my husband should be seeing are mine!

Secondly, I find it quite alarming just how many women within the church that are exposing themselves to what the world sees as reality when it comes to marriage. We are bombarded by Fifty Shades of Grey style books and Bad Mom movies, and we seldom blink an eye. We enjoy the escape from our boring, humdrum lives. For a moment we are able to leave to demands of house and home and be transported into someone else’s world. We are allowed for a short time to let our hair down, and laugh at those things we’ve been feeling or wanting to say for years. The problem is, (other than the fact that they are completely wrong, distorted and against what God created marriage and motherhood to be), they are leading women into a sense of dissolution with their own families. Visions of ‘life on the edge’ cloud our minds and fills them with falsehoods. Husbands are no longer enough. We long for something daring and freeing. Eventually women find themselves in a place of detachment and discontent. Stop buying in to the fantasy, it will inevitably leave you empty and broken.

Ladies, fix your eyes on things above! Be thankful for the call that God has placed on you as wives and mothers. Find your contentment in Jesus! Ultimately, God is the only one able to squash the desires for things outside of your marriage that are not good. Once again, we have a choice. A choice, that even when we don’t feel like it, we love our husbands anyway. Even when we don’t want to, we are patient and nurturing to our children anyway. Please ladies, fall in love with God’s plan for you. His plan is good and right and will result in blessing.

Parents:

Lastly, I want to address parents.

Our children are in the middle of a battle; a battle for their souls. As their parents, we will one day stand before God and give an account for how we have raised them. That’s a massive and heavy responsibility. We can no longer stand back from our teenagers and give them their space. They need you to draw close now more than ever.

If you want children that serve God, you have to spend the time teaching them how. You can not give them a phone, laptop, tablet or any other device, and not expect them to discover pornography. Whether intentionally or by accident, it is a click away. They will find it, and it will pull them in. Please take the time to check your children’s devices. My children know not to expect any privacy when it comes to their online activity. I check their texts, their device history, and question them often on their viewing habits. We talk, a lot! My kids know they can trust me and my husband as their parents. Do not let anger with their behavior cloud the bigger picture. If your children think you are angry, they will hide. Hide both their activities and their hearts. Ask the Lord how you are to respond. Go to scripture with your children, show them what God says. Pray with them, hold them accountable, forgive them, love them.

It has taken me an hour to write this post. The pornography hit counter is now at 3,565,319,907 and counting. It’s time to step up, stop making excuses for sin, cast aside those things that hinder us, and be the Christian (Christ Ones) God has called us to be.

For those who are stuck in the mire, struggling with this issue and don’t see a way out; there is hope, forgiveness and healing. He loves you and has a much bigger plan for you than you currently see. Don’t settle for the scraps, when you are invited to the King’s table.

Ephesians 1:7 “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace

Micah 7:18-19 “Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. 19 You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea”

Lord, help us to be your followers. Help us to be blameless in Your sight. Strengthen us for the fight ahead. Help us to get off the bench and on to the battlefield, to stand on truth and not believe the lies fed to us by the enemy. We are belong to You- help us to live like we believe it! – AMEN

Sacrificing Families on the Altar of Feminism

I’ve often lamented that I should have been a young mom in the 1940s and 1950s—back in the day when it was the norm for women to relish staying home to raise their children, when women took pride in keeping the home and providing a home-cooked meal at the end of every day, when families sat down around the dinner table to discuss whatever the topic of conversation might be.

Unfortunately, in our day this way of life is more of a dream than a reality. Instead of being the norm, those of us who have chosen this lifestyle are now in the minority and oftentimes looked down upon. The reason? I believe it’s feminism. I’m not talking about the raging protesters who wear body-part costumes and take to the streets. I’m talking about a subtle movement that has taken root in the church, in those of us who are discontented with life as God designed it to be. In those of us who desire to see our identity in more than who we are in Christ.

You see, in our quest for more money, stuff, identity, we have ultimately ended up with less. Less of what matters. Gone are the days when we were satisfied with simple. Feminism has crept in subtly over the decades. Like a seed that’s planted, the more it has been fed and watered, the bigger and stronger it has grown, until one day it will be a giant tree that isn’t going anywhere unless it’s cut down.

Society has taught us, and in turn we are teaching our children, that success is measured by what we have, how big our houses are, how new our cars are, what brand of clothes and shoes we wear. That somehow if we are only mere homemakers then we are repressed, and not reaching our potential.  Because we are under a barrage of feminist ideas that inundate us every day, we are conditioned to think we are somehow advancing, making strides as women—and maybe we are on a personal level. But take a look at the generation we are raising.

Anti-depressant usage is up 65 percent over the last fifteen years, and women are being treated for it at twice the rate men are. ADD drugs are being administered to children at an alarming rate. Children are disrespectful, ungrateful, overindulged. One in three children are overweight or obese—a condition we have seen accelerate dramatically in the last thirty years. We often throw blame for this at the introduction of convenience food or the drive through. But I have to ask, why is there a demand for such food? As women we either no longer have time to cook real meals, or we are so tired that it’s much easier to grab a “4 for $4” and call it good. Divorce is now at an all-time high; 50 percent of marriages now end in divorce. Pornography addiction is out of control, and for that we blame the ease of access to it. Things are a mess, people!

Might I suggest that if we who are women spent more time cultivating and feeding our homes and marriages instead of our careers, these statistics may not be quite as dramatic?

Women were designed beautifully to cultivate and nurture, to cultivate our homes and nurture our families—not to conquer the world, corporate or otherwise. There, I said it! I know it won’t be popular, but I said it anyway. Proverbs 31 is familiar to many of us, and we often use it as justification for work outside the home. I believe we are to be workers; we are to put our hands to things that will benefit our families. But not at the expense of our families.

We have somehow believed that if we are not breadwinners, we are less than. Proverbs 31 clearly describes a woman who is respected and revered, a woman who is looked to for wisdom and advice, a woman whose children bless and praise her. She is also a woman who cooks for her family, who opens her home for ministry and her arms to the poor. Just because a woman’s “job” is different from that of a man does not make her less than, just different from.

I understand that some women have no choice but to work. I believe many that do would rather be home. Scripture tells us that God looks at the heart, and sometimes our situation, in spite of our best effort, is beyond our control. As mothers, we do what we have to for our children. You may be the only source of provision for your family, and if that’s the case, may God bless you and provide abundantly!

I believe that as a result of our striving to be seen as equals, we have lost our uniqueness as women. Good men are becoming afraid to pay a woman a polite compliment. Many no longer give up their seats or open doors for women because their motives may be questioned. It’s a sad state of affairs. I am raising my boys to become real men. Godly men. Men who see being providers, protectors, leaders in their homes as a true calling. I am raising my daughter to value her femininity and future womanhood. Real “girl power” comes when we recognize the amazing opportunity we have as women to fulfill a calling that only we can fulfill: to raise our children and nurture our marriages as only we can.

Lord, let true feminism be alive and well in our homes and families. Help our focus to be where it needs to be—on the eternal and not the temporal. Forgive us for buying into the lie that we need to be more than what You’ve intended us to be. Thank You for womanhood and the tremendous blessing it is. Help us to be different from the culture around us! Amen.

Love Covers a Multitude of……

………..annoyances, irritations, faults and imperfections!

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Good Morning Lord,

This morning I’m thankful for the man you chose to be my husband. I’m also thinking about all of the women you have put in my path over the years. Women I have had the honor of mentoring and encouraging both in their marriages and family lives. So many of these ladies have struggled and share with me that their husbands just won’t step up to help and ‘deal with the kids’.

I think about this often as I see worn out women trying to juggle it all on their own. You have given us as women such a great gift of being able to handle so many things at once, but so often we, I fail to give these things to You. I  realize that some fathers are absent and unwilling to be involved. However, so very often we, as women we think we do a better job, so we don’t allow them in. We criticize them when they do try. My actions so often lead to frustration and disconnection. You are faithful in gently reminding me of how I sometimes need to take a step back; not be critical; encourage and support my husband as he nurtures, disciplines and teaches our children in a right and Godly way. My husband; all husbands have been given the place of protector, provider, and spiritual leader over our homes and families. I pray that I would love, encourage and build him up to be who God has called him to be.

Lord, help me to pray for my husband without ulterior motives today. Help me to remember that your love is perfect even when I’m not. Amen.